Melody has many opportunities to hear
the amusing things her art students come up with. Almost every day, she
has something new to share at the dinner table. As my students are
mostly busy playing the piano instead of talking, I don’t have as many to
share, but the kids sure are funny! I copied these from our Facebook
posts over the last couple of years. I know this is pretty long, but if
you need a smile today, read away!
Melody’s kids:
Student: “You know how the wicked
queens and evil stepmothers always wear those high, stand-up collars on
their dresses in the Disney cartoons? That’s how you’ll always know
they’re bad – just look for the collars.”
As a five year old was drawing a muscular, blond, super hero today, he narrated: “Here I am. Who wants me?”
I was trying not to laugh as he added, “He’s not saving the day, he’s just after the girl.”
Then I did laugh.
He quickly amended, “Never mind. He’s not. That’s just gross!”
5 year old student (in all seriousness), “Someday I’m going to Antarctica to hunt.”
“Oh really? What are you going to hunt?”
“Giraffes.”
After talking about babysitting some
little boys, my 11 year old art student complained, “It’s exhausting! I
mean, it’s not like I’m young anymore!”
(Grin) If 11 is old…oh my!
Student: Have you ever seen a real, live zombie before?
Me: Mm, nope.
Student. Me neither. Wow, we really have a lot in common!!
This afternoon, one of my young
students commented on my name and how it’s in a song he knows. I
informed him that the meaning of “Melody” is “song” and thus is in the
title and lyrics of numerous tunes. I then asked him if he knew what his
name meant. He replied matter-of-factly, “No. But I’m sure it means
smart and handsome.” Totally made my day!
Me: Now take your paintbrush and we’re going to add some black to the canvas over here…
Student: (holds brush near her ear)
“Hello? What? Oh, sure….Sorry, I can’t. My paintbrush just put you on
hold.” I don’t think I’ve ever had that happen before.
Two adorable little boys made me chuckle this morning.
Luke commented, “Girls are weird.”
His older brother, Nick, quickly clarified, “Except for you!”
Luke: “Yeah, younger girls are really weird.”
Nick: “Especially highschool girls – they’re the WEIRDEST!”
Both: “YEAH.”
“My grandmother is named after me.”
Student: “I got this watch for my 7th birthday. My 6th birthday was TERRIBLE.”
Me: “Oh, dear, how come?”
Student: “I don’t remember.”
I was informed today by a little girl
that they were going to have a babysitter tonight since her parents were
going out on a date. “We don’t go cuz they do icky stuff like
*kissing*! I’m not going to do any of that kind of stuff until I’m at
least 25, 26, 27, or 28.”
After a rather loud burp, I asked the
child, “What do you say?” He responded with something rather
unintelligible and I said, “You’re supposed to say, ‘Excuse me.’”
“I did. I said it in Porkadese.”
“What?”
“That one language: Porkadese.”
“You mean Portuguese?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Porku..Porcha…Porkadese.”
This week one young girl was telling
me about a story she wrote….”It’s about Laura Ingalls Wilder. Her
parents got eaten by wolves, so she went to live with her grandparents.
Then she got shot and had a baby. She also had a golden retreiver named
Joe. And in the end she died.”
Yesterday during art lessons, I had to
chuckle when one boy stated, “Girls shouldn’t drive racecars.” When I
questioned him as to his reasons, he replied, “Because when they get
pregnant they might barf and it’d get all over the inside of the
racecar.”
Young student: “I don’t like that one team – the Green Bay Pickles.”
Student’s sister: “What? You mean the Packers?!”
Student: “Yeah, those guys!”
Cute, blond, 5 year old student says seriously, “Orlando Bloom is my biggest fan.”
His older and wiser sister rolls her eyes and responds, “You mean you’re *Orlando Bloom’s* biggest fan.”
He just shrugged like there wasn’t much difference.
One student was telling me about
planets and celestial bodies…”Did you know that the sun isn’t actually
the largest star? There’s another one way bigger…but I can’t remember
the name of it.”
His younger 5 year old brother pipes up, “I know – it’s Jesus, cuz he’s the biggest star.” Ah, yes…you got that right.
When referring to their pool – “My dad
says we don’t swim in it enough anymore, so he’s going to sell it. But
we still have a little pool that my mom used when she got us that baby
child…
From a little boy who comes from a Catholic family: “Do you know all the names of the saints?”
“No. Since I”m not Catholic, I don’t have them memorized.”
“Do you know the one that said, “Oh MY!!!”
“Uh, nope.”
(hysterical laughter) “Me neither! I just made that up!!!!”~”
My grandma saw a strange person in the sky. We’re pretty sure it was an alien.”
“When
I was little I didn’t know how babies were made. I used to think that
God had all these parts stored up like eyeballs and noses and lips and
stuff. Then he just picked the ones he wanted to make up the new person.
Then my dad told me God created us from dust, and that makes a lot more
sense!”
“There
was this guy with a really cool name, but I forgot what it was. But it
was Italyean. I think. Or European. He met his wife somewhere, I don’t
remember where. Her name was Betty. And I forgot where they had to move.
But it was a cool story! I love Bible school!”
When a student arrived for his art
lesson this afternoon, he spotted the Davis Bunn book I had just put
down. “What are you reading?”
“It’s called ‘The Black Madonna’ – it’s
about a treasure hunter tracking down ancient artifacts and it’s very
intense and suspenseful.”
“Oh. Well, I’m reading ‘Snowflake the Surprise Puppy’.”
I think we might have slightly different reading tastes.
Student: I don’t believe Santa lives at the North Pole.
Me: Oh? Why not?
Student: Because we destroyed it with an auto bomb.
Me: You mean an atomic bomb?
Student: Yeah, that thing. So the North Pole is gone now.
Student: Guess what Christmas movie I’m going to watch when I get home?
Me: Uhhh…I have no idea.
Student: Guess!!! It starts with a “W”.
Me: Um. It’s a “Wonderful Life”? I don’t know.
Student: No, “The Grinch”!
Me: That doesn’t start with a “W”!!!
Student: Yeah, I know! That made it harder to guess, didn’t it?
Faith’s students:
One of my 5-yr-old kiddos was waiting
to be picked up when my dad walked in to say her mom had arrived. He
helped her gather her things and then asked if she knew her shoes were
on the wrong feet. She said, “Oh! I’ll fix that!” She then proceeded to
cross her legs and walk out the door that way! The shoes may have looked
right, but her legs sure looked funny!!! We had to laugh!
A 6 year old student was playing a
song entitled, “If I Won 10 Million Dollars”, and she said, “I would put
it in the bank, but I’m not sure if it would hold it all!” I think she
was picturing actual money sitting in her account. Then she said, “But
I’d use some of it to buy a metal detector. Because I found $7 out at
the cabin! I could find more if I had one of those detectors!” Spending
part of her 10 million to find $7 leads me to believe she doesn’t really
have a concept of how much that is!
Lillian (age 7): “I’m SOOOOO tired!”
Me: “Why?” L. (very dramatically accompanied by a roll of they eyes):
“Because someone is in love with me.” Me (trying not to laugh): “Oh
really!?!” L (shaking her head and sighing): “Yes, I’ve been running
away from them all day!!!! He was chasing me. That’s why I’m so tired!”
“We watched a movie at school today,
and you have to be REALLY old –at least 4–to see it because it would be
really creepy otherwise!” – (at the ripe old age of 6)
“When Daddy is good for a whole week,
he gets a special privilege…a tickle fight! The thing Leonard (little
brother) and I hate the most is to be tickled. So Daddy’s privilege is
getting to tickle us…but only if he’s good!” Where that comment came
from, I have no idea. What constitutes “Being good.” I wonder?
Kids are hilarious! Their comments definitely make our teaching days more interesting! Hope you enjoyed it!